Friday we drove West down I-70 to Lawrence, Kansas and said goodbye to my oldest, Haley. I know it really wasn't goodbye, but it felt like it. This whole year I have been preparing myself for this moment and thought the tough girl inside of me would win out and put on a brave face for Haley. That lasted until about 9:00 a.m. when I retreated to my closet and sat and cried. Everyone keeps telling me she is only 30 minutes away and we will be able to see her unlike a lot of college kids who actually go away to college. WHATEVER. I wasn't crying because I wasn't able to see her or keep track of her, I was crying because as a mother, this is the big moment. Have I taught her everything she needs to know to live on her own without ME. Does she know how to microwave? I really don't think so, she needs her mom to do those things! Just kidding, but in all seriousness, I know everyone has learned by mistakes and I totally believe in that, but I just worry myself to death that now that I am not around of what those mistakes will be and giving that control away to her to fix those mistakes. She has been living on her own for 4 days now and I have talked to her every night just to ease my own insecurities. I am sure she is totally fine and living it up right now, but as we were driving away from her dorms, I texted her to make sure she made it back to her room okay. She told me I was a dork and she was fine. I made her a deal right then and there.....for AT LEAST a month she either had to call me or text me to tell me goodnight, every night for my own sanity. It was while we were texting back and forth that I realized, what if I text her goodnight and it is just some random person (some stupid jock locking her in a closet) texting me back telling me goodnight back? So, our agreement was made. We would use code. I obviously can't disclose that code, because it wouldn't be a code would it?! We have a code so that I know it is my baby on the other end of that text and not Norman Bates.
Haley, I love you and I miss you.